Domestic Violence

The deep dark world of Domestic Violence is often left unspoken, for the fear of shame and embarrassment. Behind closed doors across the world, many women are suffering at the hands of their husbands or partners in silence.
Furthermore, domestic violence means any act of violence,  including verbal abuse, sexual, and emotional, however i am going to focus on physical, as its such a common thing in todays society, but as mentioned before, left unspoken.
I have developed my research and spoken to a witness of physical violence, a female of 21 years, who fortunately has spoken out, not only to myself, but also to professionals who have helped her along the way. I was lucky enough to have a deep yet emotional conversation with her. I asked her many questions, one being:
"why did you choose to put up with such a hurtful and emotional circumstance for so long?"
-"because the i held such an amount of fear of leaving inside, thinking that things could get much worse..."
Many of her answers included the word "love" and stress, and that "one day everything could be perfect and the next my world would come tumbling down within seconds." "Its not easy to forget about hopes and dreams so easily."
-"You are made to feel as if you are in the wrong, i felt it was impossible to leave, but luckily i had the help of many people behind me, and the day came where i couldn't take it any more."


I came across these points when researching about domestic violence, explaining their ways of manipulation- http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

• Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession.
• Humiliation – An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.
• Isolation – In order to increase your dependence on him or her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone.
• Threats – Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.
• Intimidation – Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.
• Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault.